Watching My Doggie Die

Aji Keshi passed away today. He had lymphoma, which often gets Golden Doodles, but it was tragic he died so young, at six and a half. He was loving and gentle, the perfect big beast of a dog.

It was hard to watch him get sicker, and then choose exactly the moment to let go. As I sit writing this, it’s not that hard though – watching him pass was endless tears, and knowing he’s gone is a touch of melancholy.

So many thoughts pass your head as your dog dies – guilty thoughts, sad thoughts, reflective thoughts. You think about how this is hard, but it would be unbearable with real, human family. You think maybe you should have walked the dog more, maybe you should have gotten a mutt. Mostly you think what a great dog he is though, and how sad it is, and it’s a lot of tears across weeks or months to watch your dog die of cancer.

So Aji Keshi is gone today, but his sister-in-spirit Tenuki lives on with us. I think Adlai will ask about Aji in a day or two, but he won’t really feel his passing, and that’s for the best – Adlai can learn of this pain some other time.

The vet cried with us as Aji passed, she’s a trooper. Such a hard job.